Trying to Force Love

I've been watching a few Taiwanese and Korean soaps on TV. Very often the plots of these stories bear close resemblance, Boy meets Girl1, Girl1 is crazy about Boy, but Boy is crazy about Girl2. So Girl1 goes all out to ruin Girl2 in Boy's eyes, taking the moral high ground to put herself in a good light. As the melodrama moves on, the lengths to which Girl1 is prepared to go to secure Boy's undying love and get rid of her rival become more and more extreme, including murder.

At the end of the day, one wonders if Boy can't make up his mind or has the inability to know how he feels about both Girl2 and Girl1. Are men in reality, so wishy washy? Looks like they're more controlled by down there than up there, or even by a beating human heart. 

Even so, can one force someone to love you? Couples get engaged or marry for many reasons and not necessarily because of love. As a woman, I think many men marry because they don't want to be alone. They often depend on another human being for physical and psychological comfort and support. When this has been secured, they tend to take it for granted ( women also do that), life becomes normal and reverts mainly to the needs of each individual. It needn't have anything to do with love. 

A few more years down the line, if the couple start drifting apart and finding their individual friends, divorce looms on the horizon. So, is trying to force someone to love you worth it?
Girl1 then, could be putting herself in hell by trying to force Boy to love her. Yet, why does she persist in this obviously lost cause? Her quest could be ego-driven and obsessive. It is an ego-driven greed for vengeance that can't be sated unless, the obstacle to her goal is removed permanently. Even then, I wonder, if she will ever have peace of mind living in fear of losing Boy's affection to anyone else?

Boy, on the other hand seems naively clueless about the 'contest' and rivalry between the two girls. Are men so naive? Or does it boost their ego to see two women fighting for their affection. Some men probably like it and thrive on jealousy. It's like a chain they can pull to reassure themselves that they still appeal to women. 

Another favorite theme of soaps is emotional blackmail. A means to force someone to do what they are unwilling to, yet, give in under duress. This is another tactic Girl1 resorts to in order to get her way. Girl2 in contrast is often portrayed as not only naive but not too intelligent. She often succumbs to the treachery of Girl1, thinking it best to give in because she loves Boy. She is the victim and waits for her knight in shining armour to rescue her i.e. for Boy to wake up and make a definite choice. Sadly, because of his apparent naive nature, it's often too late when he realizes his preference is for Girl2. She may not be around by then or may have found a more reasonable partner. The joke is really on Boy who can't make up his mind.

If Boy had been single-minded, decisive and committed himself to Girl2, he may have avoided ending up with less than he hoped and dreamed for. Yet, many things in life are uncertain and unclear and often wrong decisions are made. So, one either lives with it or charts a new course. 

We often think of what may have been, maybe for a reason, perhaps a very good one, that life plays out differently from our expectations.